Dealing With Rejection

Come on, is it really rejection? They don’t even know your favorite color, how on earth can they be “personally rejecting” you? They aren’t! Rejection is painful because we suffer a perceived loss.

Rejection is both a feeling and an action. For instance, sadness, anger, and feeling devalued. As an action, it can be perceived as an act of deliberate exclusion or dismissal.

It is OK to feel all those things or to presume their actions, but let's reframe it into a more appropriate context.

What story have you attached to the feeling? You fill in the blank, each of us is different. As an example, do you find yourself thinking:

They didn’t want me,

I wasn’t good enough,

I blew it, etc. BUT is any of that true? Let’s deconstruct this.

They didn’t want me!

Again, they don’t KNOW you personally. They didn’t necessarily see you as a fit for that role. They went a different way, that's all. Older, younger, brown-haired, red-haired, taller, shorter, etc. None of which you have a lot of control over. There are a lot of factors that go into casting a role. You're only aware of a few of them.

I wasn’t good enough!

YOU, my friend, are always worthy and good enough. However, your craft may need improving. That’s NOT a personal thing. It's a practice and training thing.

I want to share a story.

I was spending time with my granddaughter and we were at a restaurant that had one of those claw machines full of stuffed animals. I know how much she loves her stuffed animals! So of course, I was going to win her one! After several, and I do mean several attempts (lot’s of money, should have just bought one, but what fun is that) I had the feeling of failure and NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH. Her being the perceptive little human that she is, said “don’t worry Grandma, I will do it.” She stood there a moment sizing up her play, swiped her card. and the claw descended. Not one, but TWO adorable stuffed animals came up and over the glass, thanks to her precision and focus, and dropped into the prize slot. I said, “HOW ON EARTH DID YOU DO THAT IN ONE TRY?” “Practice Grandma, I play this game with my daddy a lot and I am really good at it.”

It wasn't that I "wasn't good enough" to win it for her. I wasn't trained for this event and was certainly unpracticed!

I blew it!

Ok, there is some accountability here. We have all been here and done that. BUT it doesn’t mean it's a LIFE SENTENCE. It means get back in class, work on your craft, and stop giving them something to say no to. Most humans will give you another chance but you have to do the work. Learn your craft, be prepared, and you won’t ever say “I blew it” again. NOW that doesn’t mean you will get the part automatically, it just means you STOP giving them a reason to say “not this time” and you can feel good about what you did.

How about we just stop adding so much story to things and just sit with the sadness, disappointment, anger etc. understanding that we are human and it's ok to feel! And then… get to work!

What can we improve on and how can we build our confidence? So our next opportunity is met with precision and focus and we too will grab that PRIZE.